I have the Death Cold… Here’s a silly review for you.

Seriously,  it sucks. Normally I don’t wuss out over colds, but this one is special. I almost cried when I found a can of vaporub in the cabinet earlier.

That said, despite my desire to remain roughly horizontal, I still need to make a post.

I have decided to review my vaporub, because I can’t think well enough to write something intelligent.  Please enjoy the result of my stupor…


Generic vaporub: my savior
Earlier today I had to make a choice I didn’t want to make. Did I want to breathe through my right nostril, or my left. After switching off for several hours, I decided to poke through the medicine cabinet in search of relief.
I found it in a blue can with a green lid.
The texture of vaporub is gooey and unpleasant,  similar to Vaseline. It is translucent and colorless with a glossy look when applied.



It feels thick and sticky on the skin, but does seem somewhat moisturizing.  The smell is refreshing but repellent, with a top note of menthol and a slightly camphorous eucalyptus base note. It could be described as “bracing”.
I applied the goo to my chest and throat,  and found myself engulfed in a fragrant cloud which I could feel entering my clogged sinuses. Lovely. Within a few moments I had recovered the use of both nostrils and was coughing much less. It had a pleasant cooling sensation as well, which was much less pleasant when accidentally applied to the inner corner of my eye. Given the resulting discomfort,  I cannot recommend this product as an eye cream.
As a scent, it has rather heavy sillage whic many people find unpleasant.  It is definitely a unisex fragrance, and is suited to any season. I do not recommend it as a date fragrance,  but it might be a good choice for test taking as it would keep you awake.

Get a seat to yourself on the bus
Clear sinuses
Great moisturizing properties
Might get you out of work
Can double as muscle rub

People may avoid you
People with clogged sinuses may sniff you
Greasy feel
Really sucks if it gets in your eye/nose/mouth/genital area. (I can only confirm the eye. The rest is conjecture.)

Overall: If you have a cold or are taking a bus somewhere, I highly recommend this product. If not, you may want to look elsewhere.

I hope you found this helpful.
Or at least amusing.
I’m going back to bed now.

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